Friday, July 07, 2006

waking up from my drowsy sleep... i walk to the kitchen have a cup of water, walk back to my room, plop!

wake up in da afternoon, walk to the kitchen have another cup of water walk back to my room and sit down in front of the computer... stone. Go back to kitchen cook some fried rice with carrots, french beans, and luncheon meat, eat... go back to room... plop!

wake up at night, i suddenly think of her, as well as all the other girls i've liked, how each and every failure would set me back and make me ever more afraid to step out...

remembering year 1 when i thought finally i would have someone to love, something to be proud of, as i lay in the spiderweb at marina bay... till the night i felt my dumbness, that i was never there, and then, i was afraid to be there anymore, because it hurts, because it sucks...

i couldn't be the one you loved, and it became so hard to be the one you friended.

till recently by flux we talked online, and you've changed so much... i think. i tried to become once again the one you would friend... but it seems how i tried my old feelings for the old you would surface... and then i will have to go, for im... afraid yet again...


its raining here, the thunder i hear,
i want you here, to hold you dear.
-pine, meng

a leaf fell on 8:25 pm

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