Man I have to feel sad for the animation people... I mean they have to rush day n night to get a frog jump animation done n drawing n... n... well its just so overloading...
Seeing the way you stress yourself... well im just worried, simple as that. But I can't even express my worry. Because you want to avoid the subject of my feelings, towards you. So I cant show too much concern right? What if you start to find me a bother? Then won't it be even worse?... I respect your decision t oavoid the topic... but its getting too hard, too hard...
Take care of yourself... thats all i can start to say. Controlling myself from blurting out
"Eh dun work too hard, rest a bit"
"Dont make me worry about you leh"
"I cant stand seeing you like that"
I can't show my concern to you, how painful is that?
You asked me to help you with DSNV today... I was willing but kinda put it across a bit wrongly... N when the Mac Lab was full, I planned to wait in the library till you and the lab was free... but my classmates asked me to watch a movie, now I wonder why I agreed... My guilt, the movie was the most distressing time I ever watched one, the noise at the back of my head just kept saying I "pang seh" you... Couldnt focus on it even though it was interesting... But when I called you tonite, you didn't seem to hold anything against me for it... Do you really not think I "pang seh" you??
Den when i heard your voice, that tired, half-dead voice of yours... I wanted to just break out then... but... i thought of your reslove to avoid that topic... so I just said "Sleep early..."
I can't erase a non-existant blame, how pathetic is that?
Now I ask myself, why can't i get over you? Im still asking that damn bloody question all the fucking times over... Why? Is it because I dont want my efforts to go to waste? Is it because I'm just a fucking obsessed asshole who just cant stop? Is it because Im stupid and think there is always that small hope there? Is it because I think you are the ONE? Is it? Is it...?
I can't stop loving you, how cruel is that?
Tonite I have no mood to do my work... great...
Its so hot... or am I just feeling hot?
Its so dark... or am I just dimming my thoughts?
To numb that pain, to release it...
in silent tears, in silent fears...
Can I discover a pain more than what I'm feeling now? I hope so, so I will forget I ever had this pain, and move on.
