Saturday, April 30, 2005

the last few days... have been so hectic for me (x_x)
and i thought the hols will bring me peace!!!
well i travel back n forth up n down... n burned a hole in my pocket just for transport munny...... sadz
and every time i sit on a bus, listening to whatever my zentouch plays for me,
i look into the sky, listlessly, and sometimes a tear would just drop... sometimes

i remember how you loved the clouds, do you still love them like i do?

when im in the arcade everytime i pass the "percussion freaks 10th mix" machine
i imagine you sitting there smacking the drums
i never had the ability to play it well, but since you like it i tried, i tried...

i know how you loved the games, do you know i love the way you play them?

and when all is done, late at night, i come home tired and dried,
plop on my bed, close my eyes, and i see the way you smile...
would you smile at me if i asked you to? would you smile at me if i said i love you?

i see the way you smile, do you know i so love that smile?
i so want to protect that smile

how many times i see myself, not understanding what i fear so much,
is telling such a mighty task? or showing such a impossible ask?

i can't fight this feeling anymore.
i've forgotten what i've started fighting for.
the fight to love has becomed the will to wait,
i'll still be waiting here...

reaching out into the deep blue sky,
waiting for my wings to take flight,
every flap takes me closer,
however far that star i've chosen,
every flap towards that bright blue star

a leaf fell on 2:16 am

--------------------

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Even if I will never be good enough for you,
I will still continue to strive,
For you're already good enough for me,
I don't need more...


A grey sky overshadows a forlorn tree,
Oh what sorrow does reside in thee?
In its roots the love still holds strong,
For what is lost and return never be.

The rain must come, the wind must blow,
As the inevitable will flow.
Do not blame the fallen leaves,
Even the strongest have their grieves.

The rain will come, the wind will blow,
Even forever has to go,
Do not reject the falling rain,
Accept those tears that fall down in pain.

The rain shall pass, the wind shall go,
For nature knows when to let go,
Do not forget the Calm Blue Sky,
That's always behind this forlorn tree.

-Acceptance, Meng

a leaf fell on 10:23 pm

--------------------

Friday, April 08, 2005

-_-" shanshan is scarwy... so scarwy
she threaten to kill me if i don't edit resident evil by tonite!!!
Jking Jking ^_^
actually i like editing it, but whenever i do that... i get so frustrated with bad english haha...
soon... soon i will come up with my own version completed with a solid storyline and sequencing. soon.

i'm so slow in animation... so far hmmmz i've only done 1/6 of my whole animation -_-" save me....
nvm i will GANBATTE and do at home also =P its gd to have a lightbox at home manz.

Seems like now, I can sleep properly, I still think of you, sure I always do... but I've learnt hey I can sleep and think of you too ^_^ lets just keep it that way for now shall we? I don't care if its gunna be the end of the sem and thus physically our class is split, hey I can still call you out right?? ^_^

oh ya to a certain individual out there, hey don't blame your mistakes on someone, think about what difference it would make if that someone didn't do what he did, maybe you'll find its your own prob.
you don't want help FINE, i'll help others then. ^_^v you ain't the only one I can help.


waiting for a pouring rain, to drown my tears and float my pain,
waiting for a glaring sun, to burn my woes and light my way.
-weather waiting, meng

a leaf fell on 3:23 am

--------------------

Monday, April 04, 2005

I walk a lonely road, the only road i have ever known,
don't know where it goes but its home to me and i walk alone.


I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams,
Where the city sleeps, and I'm the only one and i walk alone.


My shadows The only one that walks beside me,
My shallow heart's the only thing thats beating,
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me,
Till then I walk alone.


I'm walking down the line, that divides me somewhere in my mind,
On the border line of the edge, and where I walk alone.


Read between the lines, what's fucked up and everything's all right,
Check my vital signs, to know I'm still alive and I walk alone.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me,
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating,
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me,
Till then I walk alone.

-Green Day (boulevard of broken dreams)

a leaf fell on 1:07 am

--------------------

Sunday, April 03, 2005

the past few days... hell, the past few mths, i've been asking this question, waiting for an answer, hoping it would be what i would have wanted.

I wanted to see, how helping others would affect yourself.

Lets start with the gd side,
hey helping is a virtue ^_^, smile when you do it eh?
those small little things, like "help me hold this plz", "help me with this sentence", "can you help me edit this?"
well it gives me a small sense of happiness, that i could be of service to others, that, hey i lent a helping hand ^_^ and those thank yous however small those words are, do make a difference.

Now lets talk about the screwed up side,
hey maybe i can pick a few scenarios for this side fo the story,
imagine, you were in a group doin the same stuff, like lets say animation,
wow you know how to edit video clips, so friends start to ask you to HELP,
so one after another, you help in that small way, not caring bout your work,
just to lend that SMALL helping hand.
Guess what? after you've done up their work, all pretty n nice it is.
you go back to your own, your very own, your own ALONE.
back to that place where you sit there alone, working alone, no one reaches out to HELP you,
how would you feel? if this happened every other day?
screwy? used? FUCKed up?

oh yea for yur info the above scenario does not relate to anyone in real life, if any similarities are found den hell, you shld start thinking about who helped you, and wtf do you do to help them back.
Bottomline is... hey where the fuck have i heard the words "The Bottomline is..."
oh well somewhr i suppose, anyway

BOTTOMLINE IS: Sometimes you just have to be less sensitive, to the less sensitive people around you.

If I helped will you help? If I went would you ever know?
- meng, underappreciated

a leaf fell on 1:35 am

--------------------