tonight will be a night, cold, dark, and worst of all, lonely.
i try everyday, to steer my thoughts clear, of what holds me back, what so nice about an inn that kicks me out? wads so treasurable in there that i dont wanna leave?
why why WHY?
why cant i let go?
why cant we just be friends?
why cant i only take you as a friend?
why cant i understand, that it was never meant to be?
why the fuck do i still hold on?
why the fuck am i doing this to myself? she doesnt even know.
why cant i forget?
the nights i thought of you, but you werent there by my side
the days i talked with you, hoping you would understand
the words i said to you, hiding all the thoughts
the dreams i had about you, dreams are only dreams
the laughter i had when i was with you, true are those i had
the tears i dropped without you, worthless for you never knew
the worry i had for you, unknown cept for me
the silent care i had for you, unknown cept for me
the fear of letting you know, cowardice of my heart
the fear of letting you go, stupidity of my soul
the hopes i had for you, down the drain up my ass
the the anger i felt for a asshole next to you,
the hidden jealousy i had for that asshole,
the times i had to control myself from lashing out,
the times i could talk freely with you (without that asshole),
the times i wished you could know, the PAIN i felt inside
the times i wished you could know, the WORLD you were to me
and last of all, why can't i forget i ever loved you?
im tearing as i typed these words, as i ask this questions, as i think of why.
you never will read it, for you never knew, how much i spent for you,
worthless time, useless words, unworthy actions,
im glad i put the effort, fruitless it may be,
but its hard to let go, no one can help me,
meaningless my life stays, to you and forever to be
as i said these words, i stopped crying, i stopped trying,
for tonight will be a night, cold, dark, and worst of all, lonely.
