Monday, January 24, 2005

sunday, its so quiet, cept for the blinds that keeping banging the windows, the breeze brought a fragrance, i felt like i was in the village of dali, peacefulness found in my blog music.

I msged you today, about tml, i was scared, as always, that you would avoid me, even if others tell me otherwise, im still scared, nonetheless. Its like if yur watching a scary movie, even if others tell you it is not scary, it sucks, you may still find it scary, nonetheless.

When i had nothing else to ask you, i looked at whr i was, at the bottom of a quarry cliff next to a pool rippling in the breeze. den i msged you, "hey i found out something you could use for CP", that prolonged the conversation a little longer but still it had to end. So i said "guess i have no more reason disturbing you", you replied "disturbing? i thought you were asking".

The way you returned my msgs looked just like you were sick of my msgs, why the fuck am i disturbing you on a nice sunday? but those few words, little meaning as it would have implied, gave me that shred, that scrap of hope.

So when i told you bout the place, you said "when we free we can go n look", i replied "its when YOU will be free, im always free ^_^"
i nearly typed "im always free for you ^_^"
i restrained myself, yet again i was scared.

Im a lost bird chasing after a fading wind, what more can i hope for?
-meng, hopelessness

a leaf fell on 11:19 am

--------------------